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Bob Thomas
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Bob Thomas


Still Smoking 2011

Remember the last time the Dismal Swamp was burning?  Of course you don't.  You're probably saying what the (blank) is the Dismal Swamp, right?  Well, the Dismal Swamp is roughly 112,000 acres of swamp  situated on the border of Virgina & North Carolina.  There's a wildlife refuge on the Virgina side and a state park on the North Carolina side.  Presently, about 5500 of the acres are blazing.  It also burned three years ago.  Back in 2008, I couldn’t fathom how a swamp could burn.  I mean, it's supposed to be saturated with water.  Come find out, it ain't always got water in it.....not entirely. Some parts have water, other parts are dry.  Well, it seems that lightning keeps striking the part that's dry and before you know it.......whoosh, it’s  flame on.   All of Hampton Roads and northeast North Carolina have been affected by the smoke.  Doesn't matter where you live, sooner or later the wind will blow that stinking, eye burning, nostril hurting foul stench your way.  In addition, in some cases, visibility is reduced to basically nothing.  Matter of fact, check out this pic...

Can you imagine breathing this stuff?  As a matter of fact, there's a respiratory alert in place.  Here's another one......

Not fog but SMOKE, breathing hurts.  Oh, but here's my favorite picture.....


It reminds me of some of the rooms in my college dormitory back in the 70's.  Knock on the door, when it opened, that’s all you saw.....BIG TIME SMOKE.   The only things missing from the picture above are a black light, the poster of that sister with the big afro, fishnets hanging from the ceiling and Iron Butterfly's IN DA GADA VIDA blasting on the turntable.  Once, I not only knocked on that door, I entered the fog……….I disappeared for a week…….with no memory of anything.

Which brings to come these mega wildfires never engulf acres of marijuana? Once, while in the military, we stumbled across a huge patch of it during one of those field exercises.  Dudes were uprooting plants and stuffing em in their duffel bags figuring it be dry and ready by the time the field exercise was over.  So you know, it's growing wild somewhere.  Now, imagine all that smoke in the pictures above was a result of some weed wildfire.  Potheads would be homeless on purpose.  All they would want to do is just live outside and breathe and live outside and breathe. Everybody would have a contact (that’s being high as a result of secondary smoke).  All the snacks in Hampton Roads and northeast North Carolina would be SOLD OUT cause everybody got the munchies.  People would be driving around aimlessly because they can't remember where they're going.  Teachers would forgot to check homework, give the test that they promise a week ago, take attendance and attend those awful after school meetings.  Brown nosers would refrain from kissing the bosses butt and tell the boss to kiss their butts and they and the boss would then burst into laughter..... and keep on laughing............ for the rest of the day.  Bus drivers would drive their routes but forget to pick up and discharge passengers.  Admin workers would be at their desks marveling at the starfield screen saver on the computer while uttering mono syllabic phrases like  Ooooo, Ahhhh, woooowwwww.  And radio personalities like me, would get on the air and just ramble on and on and on about nothing.  Wait a minute……we do that NOW!!  Hmmmm, is there something burning in the swamp that they haven’t told us about?!?

  (pictures courtesy of our broadcast partner WTKR, News Channel 3)

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08/22/2011 12:56PM
Still Smoking 2011
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