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Bob Thomas


The Tooth Fairy


My wife and I entertained overnight visitors this past weekend.  Her little cousin Dray (4 years old….at least till next Friday) spent the night with us.  Now, that’s nothing new cuz the wife likes to make sure he gets to Sunday school the next day…..this week especially, to practice his part in the Sunday School play.  This time, his visit precipitated the arrival of another visitor…….the Tooth Fairy.  Dray’s first tooth came out (bottom incisor) and he was told about the Tooth Fairy; however, the impending arrival of the Tooth Fairy didn’t seem to carry any weight with Dray.  He seemed more interested in the fact that he lost a tooth.  He gently wrapped that tooth in a paper towel but kept unwrapping it, just to see it again and again.  Come find out, he thought the Tooth Fairy would replace the tooth with cash while it was in the paper towel, right before his very eyes.    Uh...No Dray…..let’s explain again how this works.  Finally, it’s his bedtime and the tooth gets put under his pillow.  I ask the wife, how much she thought the Tooth Fairy would bring Dray.  She says $3.00.  I said, “3 dollars……FOR ONE ITTY BITTY TOOTH!!  A TOOTH THAT’S ABOUT THE SIZE OF A GRAIN OF RICE……$3.00!  Man, that boy got a gold mine in his mouth.  Three bucks a tooth times twenty teeth……that’s 60 BUCKS!  SIXTY BUCKS? That’s 2-3 bags of groceries OR a tank and a half of gas OR one Jay Z ticket OR ten five dollar foot looonngs, plus tax (I sound like the father on “Everybody Hates Chris”).  C’mon man!!  Do you remember how much the Tooth Fairy brought you?  I can remember twenty cents…. TOP!  That was enough to buy some bubble gum, a couple of Squirrel Nuts, three Mary Jane’s and five cents worth of two for a penny cookies."  The Tooth Fairy actually brought Dray a buck fiddy but in his words, “The Tooth Fairy brought me a dollar…..I don’t count change.”  He doesn’t count change….that’s cuz he can’t…but I CAN!  It’s been a long time since the Tooth Fairy showed up some place where I was.  But it got me thinking….most would agree that when you become an adult, the Tooth Fairy ceases to exist.  WRONG!  In actuality, the Tooth Fairy morphs from a mythical entity into someone you can see, talk to and physically touch.  The adult Tooth Fairy is known as …….the DENTIST.  Check out the parallels:  The Tooth Fairy takes teeth from under yo’ pillow…..the Dentist takes teeth straight out of yo’ mouth.  The Tooth Fairy will give YOU money for your teeth……YOU give the Dentist money for taking YOUR teeth.  The Tooth Fairy will only take your teeth while you’re sleeping.  The dentist doesn’t care if you’re sleeping or not.  The Tooth Fairy makes house calls.  The dentist makes you call.  The Tooth Fairy offers assurance.  The dentist accepts insurance.  The one thing they have in common is bringing joy to an unpleasant situation.........the Tooth Fairy gives you money, the dentist gives you a prescription.   

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12/14/2009 12:38AM
The Tooth Fairy
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03/23/2010 3:16PM
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