Bob Thomas

Lots of people would like to get a raise but just don’t know how to go about it.  So, I’m here to help.  Just for you, the top ten ways to get a raise: 

Number 10 – Wear elevated shoes.

Number 9  -  Sit on a inflatable tube and blow.

Number 8 -   Get in a hot air balloon and look down as you go up.

Number 7 -   Climb a tree or ladder while your friend stays on the ground.

Number 6 -   Ride an express elevator or a slow escalator.

Number 5 -   Stay in your car while it’s on a lift getting an oil change.

Number 4 -   Walk on your tippy toes.

Number 3 -   Jump on a trampoline or pogo stick.

Number 2 -   Get a job in the shipyard as a crane operator. 

And the number one way to get a raise:

For men – Watch porn.

For women – Implants.